Ever reach the end of the day and wonder where it went — and what it gave you back?
You ran the errands. You answered the messages. You did what you were “supposed to.”
But still, something feels… off. Empty. Unseen. Like you were there, but not really present.
That’s not just mental clutter — it’s a disconnect between your time and your truth. So, how should you spend your time?
As a registered nurse and wellness consultant, I’ve seen how the way we spend time either feeds our healing or fuels our burnout. You don’t need another productivity system. You need a better connection to yourself.
This isn’t about squeezing more in.
This is about spending your time in ways that restore, reflect, and improve your productivity.
Let’s talk about why your time feels stolen and how to gently take it back.
Why You’re Always Out of Time – But Still Feel Unfulfilled
Busy isn’t the same as better.
You’re not lazy. You’re overloaded.
I read somewhere, can’t find the resource now that over 60 percent of people describe their days as “unsustainable.” And the kicker? Most of them are doing it to themselves — unintentionally.
We fill every blank space with something:
Obligations we didn’t say no to
Expectations that don’t serve us
Endless tasks that don’t touch the heart
“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” – Socrates
Here’s the truth: most of us aren’t taught how to spend time — we’re taught how to stay occupied. But when your calendar is full and your soul is starving, something has to shift.
Ask yourself:
“When was the last time I felt proud of how I spent my day, not just relieved it was over?”
If your answer is “I can’t remember,”… keep reading.
Your Time Habits Reflect Your Healing (Or Lack of It)
Your routine is more honest than your words.
In recovery — from stress, illness, heartbreak, trauma — one of the first things I look at is how someone uses their time. Because time habits reveal patterns. And patterns reflect pain.
The nervous system in survival mode craves control, noise, and movement. Stillness feels like a threat. So what happens?
We overbook ourselves
We numb out with screens
We avoid the silence that might reveal what hurts
And here’s what’s wild: Harvard Health found that just 15 minutes of intentional stillness can reduce stress hormones and improve mental clarity.
But the stillness most of us need… is the very thing we avoid.
If your day is filled with noise, your healing will feel like it’s on pause.
What might this look like?
Choosing work over rest — even when your body says stop
Saying yes to things you resent later
Feeling uneasy when there’s “nothing to do”
These are signs, not flaws. They point to emotional wounds asking to be seen.
Ask yourself:
“Am I spending time to restore myself — or to avoid what I feel?”
Where Your Time Goes (And Why It’s Draining You)
Not all time-wasters look dangerous.
Let’s look at the obvious: you don’t mean to waste time, but you do.
According to Statista (2025), the average adult spends 6+ hours daily on screens outside of work. That’s 90+ days a year — gone.
The problem isn’t the internet. It’s unconscious time loops that steal energy under the guise of entertainment.
Modern time traps:
- “Just one scroll” that turns into 45 minutes
- Passive binge-watching while avoiding chores or feelings
- Multitasking that leaves you mentally fried but emotionally unfulfilled
You might think you’re resting, but your brain is overstimulated, your body tense, and your spirit still on edge.
Here’s the truth:
Time doesn’t just disappear. It leaks through distraction, emotional avoidance, and the absence of boundaries.
Ask yourself:
“Does the way I spend time give me life—or just kill time?”
The Truth About Meaningful Time – It’s Not About Doing More
Let’s be honest — most people equate spending time well with being productive.
Get more done. Check the boxes. Be efficient.
But here’s what no one tells you: a packed day can still feel painfully empty.
We’ve romanticized the hustle.
But meaning isn’t born in movement — it grows in presence. And in all my years as a nurse and consultant, I’ve seen that the most fulfilled people aren’t always the busiest. They’re the ones who’ve learned how to choose time that feels aligned, even if it means doing less.
“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” – Henry David Thoreau
Ask yourself:
“Is my time making me feel alive… or just occupied?”
Signs you’re prioritizing productivity over meaning:
- Feeling guilty for resting
- Having no memory of the last time you laughed deeply
- Always rushing to the next thing, never satisfied with the current one
It’s not just about how much time you spend — it’s about what that time gives back to you.
And that starts with asking a better question…
So, How Should You Spend Your Time?
You’ve heard the question before: “How should you spend your time?” But most people answer it from guilt, not alignment.
Time isn’t a task to manage. It’s an energy exchange. Every hour you give away should come back with peace, purpose, or presence — and if it doesn’t, it’s time to reassess.
Here’s a framework I teach clients to help restructure their daily flow:
The 3Ms of Aligned Time
- Maintenance Time: hygiene, eating, finances, home tasks — these keep life functioning
- Meaningful Time: connection, creativity, learning, helping, spirituality — these feed your soul
- Margin Time: unstructured pauses, naps, quiet moments, watching the sky — these regulate your nervous system
Ask yourself:
“Which of these am I starving — and what would shift if I gave it more time?”
If your life is all maintenance and no meaning, it’s not a time problem — it’s a permission problem.
You’re allowed to live, not just survive.
A 5-Step Guide To Reclaim Time That Heals You
This isn’t a list of hacks.
It’s a healing approach to how to spend time without abandoning yourself in the process.
Let’s walk through a simple yet powerful framework I use with clients who feel stuck, depleted, or directionless.
Step #1: Track Your Time For 3 Days
Most people have no idea where their time actually goes. That’s why we start here.
Carry a notebook, or use your phone’s Notes app.
For three days, write down everything you do in 30- to 60-minute blocks. Don’t judge it. Just observe it.
Include:
- Work hours (including breaks and distractions)
- Phone use (especially social media or aimless scrolling)
- Meals, chores, errands
- Time spent talking, resting, commuting, or zoning out
What you’ll find is often surprising. Awareness always precedes change, and once you see the leaks, you can begin to seal them.
Ask yourself afterward:
“Did how I spent time reflect who I want to be?”
If not, no shame. Just an opportunity.
Step #2: Tag Each Activity – Fulfilling, Neutral, or Draining
Now that you’ve mapped your time, let’s label it.
Go back over those 3 days and tag each activity with one of the following:
- Fulfilling: energizing, restorative, joyful
- Neutral: necessary but not emotional (e.g., laundry, light tasks)
- Draining: left you tired, irritated, disconnected
You’ll start to see patterns.
Maybe conversations with certain people leave you depleted. Maybe even your “relaxation” time feels numbing instead of nourishing.
This step reveals the emotional quality of your time — and how your nervous system experiences your day.
What you tag as “draining” doesn’t always need to go, but it does need to be balanced by what fills you.
Step #3: Trim The Depleting – Gently
This isn’t about quitting your job or canceling your life. It’s about reclaiming 10%.
Look at your list. Find 1–2 draining activities you can either:
- Eliminate
- Shorten
- Delegate
Replace with something more neutral or fulfilling
You don’t need to remove everything — just lighten the emotional load. That one hour of doom-scrolling before bed? Try swapping it with something neutral (like stretching) or fulfilling (like journaling or music).
It’s about micro-adjustments — not dramatic overhauls.
“Small hinges swing big doors.” – Tony Robbins
Step #4: Tend To One Daily Healing Practice
Now, you begin adding in intentional, soul-feeding time — even if it’s just 10 minutes.
Ideas include:
- Morning journaling or gratitude writing
- A quiet tea break without your phone
- Sitting outside for 5 minutes to breathe
- Sending one kind message to someone you love
- Listening to music that grounds you
The point is not perfection — it’s consistency.
When your brain starts to expect healing during the day, it shifts out of survival mode.
One act of presence a day… and things start to change.
Step #5: Trust Your Pace – Not The World’s
Here’s the most important part: go slow.
You don’t need to “optimize” every hour. You don’t need a perfect calendar.
What you do need is trust — that even small shifts in time can bring massive shifts in well-being.
Healing doesn’t run on urgency.
Real alignment happens when you stop racing and start listening to what your life is actually asking for.
You’re not behind. You’re not broken.
You’re just finally ready to spend your time like it matters.
What If You’re Stuck In A Time Loop? (For The Burnt-Out Reader)
It’s hard to reclaim time when it feels like it owns you.
Let’s pause here, because I know what you might be thinking.
“I can’t just rearrange my time. I have a family. A job. People who rely on me.”
And you’re right. You’re not wrong for feeling stuck.
Burnout, caregiver fatigue, and over-functioning — these aren’t habits. They’re symptoms.
As a nurse, I’ve seen this up close. Many people use every waking moment just to survive the day, especially after illness, trauma, or long periods of chronic stress.
You don’t need someone to tell you to “just wake up earlier” or “use a planner.”
You need someone to say: It’s okay if healing doesn’t look productive.
Here’s what I want you to try:
- One small time boundary per day (even just 10 minutes of “no access” to others)
- One nourishing ritual that’s just for you (a walk, deep breath, prayer, music)
- One “no” to something that drains you — no explanation needed
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.” – Anne Lamott
A study found that micro-habits repeated daily yield a higher emotional benefit than large occasional changes.
So if all you can do is five minutes of silence with your coffee — that matters.
Ask yourself:
“What’s one way I can reclaim just 5 minutes of today… for me?”
Start there. That’s not selfish — that’s strategy.
What Spending Time Right Feels Like
It’s not louder. It’s lighter.
You don’t need to chase time. You need to feel safe inside it.
And when you finally start spending time in ways that align with your body, mind, and soul — things shift quietly but powerfully.
You breathe deeper.
You stop needing noise to feel full.
You remember what it feels like to enjoy your own company again.
This isn’t about becoming hyper-productive or picture-perfect.
It’s about becoming present.
“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” – Bertrand Russell
And let’s be real — the time you spend lying in the grass, journaling under a tree, laughing at your child’s weird dance moves…
That’s the stuff you’ll remember. That’s the time that heals you.
So stop chasing the clock.
Start choosing your life.
Conclusion: Time Is Yours – And You’re Allowed to Use It for You
So, how should you spend your time?
- Not by default.
- Not by guilt.
And definitely not by someone else’s blueprint for a “good life.”
Spend your time in ways that:
- Calm your body
- Awaken your heart
- Support your nervous system
- Honor the quiet voice inside that’s been asking for more
You don’t need a full schedule to feel accomplished. You need aligned time that reflects your values, your energy, and your healing.
